Due to the writers strike, the actresses of Desperate Housewives are currently out of work. Marcia Cross and her husband took the extra time and went shopping.

Johnny Depp is looking gorgeous and hobo chic as always in NYC at a dinner outing with friends. I can’t wait to see Sweeney Todd!

Hotness galore from Zachary Quinto on a recent episode of Heroes. I’ve heard people have seen him in the Village with his boyfriend. Come out, Zachary! It worked for Lance Bass.

Jessica Simpson might be finally ending the professional relationship between she and her father. He’s been her manager since she’s been in the business, and now she’s cuttin’ him loose.

Apparently Linda Hogan wants a divorce from wrestling star Hulk Hogan. This family is seriously so much drama. Brooke’s a tranny hot mess, Nick’s a drunken vehicular murderer, and now these two are going at it in court. Sheesh.

Are you as sick of hearing Meredith Grey’s voice as I am? Good news for you and me. Dr. Bailey is taking over temporarily as the narrarator of Grey’s Anatomy in an upcoming episode.

Seth Rogen has supposedly been slated to play the Green Hornet in the upcoming Justice League movie, so he’s been trying his best to bulk up. Don’t go all Mario Lopez, Seth! 0% body fat is NOT cute.

For whatever reason, Lindsay Lohan is coming out with yet ANOTHER shitty album. This time she might be teaming up with 50 Cent.

Christina Aguilera is looking six months pregnant and gorgeous out on the town with her husband. She may have a newfound double chin, but she still looks sexy as ever.

Seth Green is set to make a guest appearance on waning drama Grey’s Anatomy. Hopefully he can spice up this show because this season has seriously put my ass to sleep.

Remember that Aaron Eckhart movie Thank You For Smoking? Apparently USA is making a TV series out of it. Ew. Big ew.

Ever wanted to know what Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell look like shirtless and swimming in a pool together? Your dreams have come true.

Hottie Jesse Metcalfe is coming back to Wisteria Lane and making another appearance on ABC hit Desperate Housewives. Nude scene, please!

The tragic decline of Jessica Simpson’s pathetic career continues, as her film Blonde Ambition gets banished to QVC. It’s not even good enough for a straight to DVD release!

Gavin Hood talks about the new Wolverine movie, a spinoff from the X-Men films. All I care about is whether Hugh Jackman’s going to get naked again or not. Thanks.

After earning an estimated 260 million dollars last year, Oprah Winfrey has been named the highest paid TV star by Forbes magazine. If only I could get her to pay off my college loans.

Country music legend and sitcom star Reba McEntire apparently turned down Jessica Simpson when she was approached about doing a duet with her on her now #1 album Duets.

“Jess thought she had been passed over because Reba would be singing with older, more established artists,” a source close to Jessica tells OK. “She was devastated when she found out that Kelly Clarkson was invited to be part of the project.”

Ouch. That’s gotta hurt, Jess. Part of me feels sorry for this girl. Her life has been in a downward spiral ever since she broke up with Nick Lachey. She even tried clinging to Christina Aguilera for help. Didn’t work. Just give up and do porn, baby.

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Page Six of the NY Post is reporting that Roseanne Barr along with Whoopi Goldberg and Kathie Lee Gifford, is in the running to replace Rosie O’Donnell once she leaves The View. I think she’d work, I’d like Whoopi on there as well. Kathie however, just needs to fall off of the face of the Earth and never find her way home.

Desperate Housewives led ABC to a ratings sweeps victory last night as Mrs. McClusky was arrested after her husband’s (or so we assume) body was found in her basement freezer. With 17 million viewers, the show garnered it’s best average since March, and led in the key ratings demographic. Meanwhile Polly Bergen is joining the show as Felicity Huffman’s mother.

Kelly Clarkson has announced her summer tour dates, and unfortunately there aren’t any in the city. I will once again have to travel to Long Island. At any rate, I’m afraid for her voice because her upper range seems to be shredded–judging from her recent American Idol performance and her Daytona performances. She needs vocal rest. Oh well.

One of my favorite comedians, Sarah Silverman, will be hosting this year’s MTV Movie Awards. Sadly enough, in recent years these awards have been more entertaining than the VMAs. Has MTV forgotten they’re a music channel? It would seem so. Eh, who cares. VH1 for the win!

Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. have returned, and I’m excited. I fell in love with Sarah back in her Buffy days, even more when she was in I Know What You Did Last Summer. I fell in love with Freddie in that movie Down To You with Julia Stiles. They’re such an adorable couple. Please come back to me.

The creators of Sex and the City, Candace Bushnell and Darren Star, have gotten themselves into a bit of a predicament. Each of them has developed an adaptation of the show for two different networks, one called Lipstick Jungle, and the other called Cashmere Mafia, and both are looking to get picked up for this fall’s schedule. I think they’ll both end up being fucked.

TMZ has a video of Tobey Maguire slapping a fan’s camera away when he tries to nab a picture of Maguire as he’s entering his hotel. The absolute best part of the video is the guy laughing at the end. Some people think Tobey was rude, but honestly I would’ve done the same thing. The guy walks right next to him and puts the camera directly in Tobey’s face. Ever heard of personal space?

Take a look at some recent pictures of Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal taking Maggie’s daughter Ramona out for a walk in the city. I think I’ve outgrown my attraction to Jake completely. First there was the whole beard thing, and now I hear he’s dating Reese Witherspoon which is just a big no-no. Though considering he used to date Kirsten Dunst, he may have a thing for women who can’t act.

Jessica Simpson is in talks to star in a film called The Kentucky Fried Horror Show. Please read that sentence again because it was not a joke. Apparently it’s about college kids on Spring Break getting involved with a religious cult, and I hear Hilary Duff may be getting into the movie as well. Jesus Christ, they just greenlight anything these days, don’t they?

So remember that movie I told you about a while ago? The remake of Working Girl that Jessica Simpson and Luke Wilson were doing? Yeah, go ahead–I puked too. Well here’s some pictures from the set of the film. It looks even worse than I envisioned. Lord help us all.

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And as if that weren’t already torture enough, apparently Miss Simpson is branching out her career. According to Entertainment Weekly, she’s putting out a photography book, which will be accompanied by her own personal journal entries.

50 pages of her figuring out if she ate fish or chicken for dinner? No thanks.

From a recent appearance at a party for “Trump Vodka”. Jesus…I guess what goes up must come down. Get yourself together.

Happy belated 33rd birthday Nick Lachey! Nick and his lickalicious chest turned the big three three yesterday and naturally he celebrated with a cheesy sponsorship for Snickers to promote himself and his album.

With over 500,000 copies sold, Nick’s album What’s Left of Me has not only been certified gold, but has ridiculously outsold Floppica Jessica Simpson and her horrid senior effort A Public Affair which stalled at 240,000 copies.

This is what happens when you rip off Madonna, my dear.

How is this allowed to happen? Has Hollywood really reached the depths of the bottom of the barrel so badly that the best they can offer us is horrible remakes starring people with minimal talent? How many remakes can one woman make?! Honestly.

First her “I Think I’m In Love” song (which by the way is her best) was a sample, she remade “Take My Breath Away“, she remade “Angels“, she ripped off Madonna for “A Public Affair“, she remade “These Boots Are Made For Walking“, she remade Dukes of Hazzard, and now she’s remaking one of my favorite movies Working Girl for which Melanie Griffith (may her non-painkillered soul R.I.P) garnered an Oscar nomination back in the 80s.

The worst part is…it’s also starring Luke Wilson, and it’s called Blonde Ambition. Uhhh…Legally Blonde anyone? The thing that pisses me off the most, is Working Girl is actually a great story for women. It’s empowering because a beautiful woman who no one wants to take seriously uses her shrewd skills and her own self-acquired smarts to become successful while also finding love.

But something tells me this movie’s going to make her all blonde and bubbly, and basically have Jessica playing her ditzy self–stumbling around on screen smiling and giggling while goo-goo guys go ga-ga for her non-existent ass and her pushed up double-d’s.

Like I said..kill me now.

Madonna, or as many a gay may know her, Queen Madge will appear on Oprah today to discuss..yeah you guessed it.

Rock your booodyy riiiight. Backstreet’s Whack! Alright?! Wtf. I love you A.J. but the self-hatred’s got to go.

David Beckham is going to drop his pants? I’m there. Aw shit, it’s for children.

Poor NBC. You know you’re desperate when you ask Jessica Simpson to guest star on your network’s best show.

Project Runway’s resident bitch Nina Garcia and her husband are expecting their first child. Damn, ho’…pretty late, huh?

Apparently T.R. Knight is getting some pretty interesting text messages. Or not.

As much as I hate the Hasselbitch…Law & Order: SVU went a bit too far this time. Even though they did the same thing to Michael…and Britney…and Mel Gibson.

Thanks for stealing Christina’s Gucci dress you dumb bitch. What’s with the pout?

Jessica needs to find a new reality show, STAT!